Last week I was honored to interview one of the strongest young women I have every met, Alyssa Tabit.  She was generous with her time and her inherent warmth, enthusiasm and passion about all she commits to was evident.  This, coupled with Alyssa’s inner and outer strength and energy made it a pleasure to get to know her.

Many of you may know Alyssa as she is an up and coming entrepreneur, as well as actor Freddie Smith‘s long-time girlfriend.  Alyssa and Freddie have embarked on their 90 Day Run together and on all avenues of social media, inviting the world to join their journey, and to inspire others to take one of their own.

Alyssa generously shared the inspiration and direction her 90 Day Run will take, hoping to give others ideas and options for starting their own.

Carolyn Topol Talk:  What made you decide to do the 90 Day Run, and the fact that you’re doing it together, with your boyfriend, does that have an impact on you either positively or negatively?

Alyssa Tabit:  The reason that I personally decided to do the 90 Day Run was the fact that Freddie and I were sitting and talking about the fourth quarter of this year.  We were really looking at everything; figuring out how we had so much coming up.  For me, personally, I’m going to be traveling a ton!  I’m going to New Jersey for some business with my family, I’m going to Florida, then I’m going to Nashville, and then back to L.A.  Then I’m going to Dallas and then I’m going to Australia.  I’m doing all of this in the next month which is absolutely crazy.  We were looking at all that and were like… okay, in order to come out good on the other side of this, we really need to be the best version of ourselves that we can possibly be.

We were really looking into it, and [noting] this summer past we were in Hawaii and traveling a ton, and when we were on vacation we ate and drank a little too much.  We really wanted to get back in shape and into eating right.  We figured out, let’s get on this really healthy eating kick where we do Paleo.  I will be totally honest, If it wasn’t for Freddie, I don’t know how good I’d be at this because I’m a really horrible cook.  It’s kind of like I have my own personal chef — in house!  I wake up, he cooks everything.  Granted, I clean so we’re a really good match on that aspect.

CTT:  Good deal!

AT:  Yeah!  [laughs]  We go grocery shopping every two days for all this healthy stuff.  Basically, what Paleo is, it’s kind of like the cave man diet so if the cave men couldn’t eat it, we can’t eat it.  Now, the one exception I make is a little cheese here and there because, sorry-not-sorry, I love cheese — that one I’m not willing to give up. [laughs]  We start with that, then we [knew] we really should incorporate something that’s going to get our minds straight along with keeping our bodies healthy.  That brought us to yoga and we took this 30 day challenge for yoga on YouTube.  It’s a very beginner’s type of yoga which is awesome.  We’re getting a little older; we want to be able to stretch our bodies great and feel good and also yoga, for the mind, is so spectacular and wonderful so we started there.  And then we [thought], well in order to keep our minds in shape and ready to conquer this incredible journey that’s about to take place we have to really be developed and we need to be working on ourselves every day.  So our goal is to read, pretty much, a book a week.  I’ve always been an avid reader but I’d read more for pleasure.  Freddie, on the other hand, didn’t really read much until about two years ago so we really are buckling down with our self development, growing every single day, and, you know, not anything crazy — maybe just 10 pages a day — that would definitely suffice.  We just want to make sure we get at least 10 pages in and that we’re ready to rock ’n roll when we take on all of this stuff that’s about to happen because it’s definitely going to be a big next few months.  We’re just preparing ourselves.  As I said, we want to be the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be.

CTT:  That’s wonderful!  Good luck to you both.

AT:  Thank you.  And we really decided too, putting it on social media, we’re calling ourselves out.  We’ve got to be accountable because we’re putting ourselves out there.  I mean, you can’t fall back with the whole world watching. [laughs]

CTT:  It’s perfect that you just said that as it was my next question.  What made you decide to put the journey out there on all the avenues of social media?

AT:  To be honest, we really just decided that if we want to be accountable we should document it, especially in a world where everything now is on social media.  It’s all about having contact and really just touching lives through the internet and social media.  This is what our world is turning into.  Whether we like it or not we’ve got to be there on the trend and jump on board because that’s what everyone’s doing.  So, we were like, let’s just share this journey… and it’s really crazy.  I’ve gotten so many messages and tweets and all sorts of different ways of connecting.  People are saying, “Wow, I’m doing this with you,” and, “I’m so excited–this is what I’m reading,” or “Oh my gosh, I just signed up for the gym for the very first time,” and, “Thank you for sharing your journey.”  That alone is worth it to me!  Now I know every single day I have to show up because these people are trying to make an impact on their lives, and I’ve got to show up for myself as well and make an impact so we can do this together and be accountable together.

CTT:  Did you have specific goals and how did you come up with them?  If so would you be willing to share some, or all of them?

AT:  Yes, of course.  As far as the losing weight aspect, it’s very funny.  Freddie and I, we’re a couple, and we’ve been together for five years.  We always, always, always gain weight together and lose it together.  It’s like clockwork.  [laughing]  I swear, I’m not joking.  We both, kind of, were that moment of ‘hmm, we both should relax a little bit and get healthy again’.  It’s so funny, because for me it’s more about being healthy.  I’ve never been a scale person but for this purpose let’s just document it.  Others were posting their weight.  I wasn’t trying to do that.  [laughs]  I’m a woman and we never want to talk about the numbers.  I also know for me too, the reason I never ever looked at the scale was because, for some reason—just the way my body works, I know me, I know my body—I don’t start losing the weight until maybe the third week in.  It really is crazy because today, of all days [the date was 8/13/2016], we had been doing this for about six days and Freddie’s said, “Oh, come on, let’s get on the scale.  Tomorrow will be one more day [to the first week].”  I was like, “Oh gosh, okay.”  So he gets on — and get this — in one week he’s already lost five pounds and I just knew that if I got on the scale I’d probably put on weight.  Well, I get on, and I only lost .1.  It’s so funny, because it really just goes to show everyone in life, no matter what you’re doing, all of our journeys are different.

We’re all going to have different outcomes but we have to stay consistent.  I guarantee you, I know my body; by the third week I’m going to be feeling great; I’m going to be looking great; I’ll have lost some weight.  I know this is a full-time thing I’m trying to be consistent with, but it really just goes to show you can’t compare yourself to others.  I looked at Freddie — “You lost five pounds; oh my goodness!”  When you look at it, we’re different people and he’s a male.  He weighs more and he has more muscle.  You’ve got to look at everything and note that, ‘hey we’re all different and we’re all going to have different paths.’  We’ve got to be unique to ourselves and really continue working.  I wanted to share that because, of course, Freddie can lose five pounds in the first week and I’m just hanging out.

One goal was to really get healthy; Freddie more so.  He wanted to lose maybe 10-15 [pounds]; I’d be happy with five, to be honest.  I just want to lose it and feel good.

As far as the books go, it’s definitely at least 10 pages a day.  That’s non-negotiable.  If we have more time more.  We’re really busy expanding our business.  We’re traveling a ton; going to Australia.  But if I can get more time in, I always am [reading].  It’s funny, because Freddie and I will sit at night, after a full day of working, and sit there for at least 30 minutes and read our books.  In the middle of it we’ll stop and go, “Oh my gosh, I have something,” and we’ll read it out loud to the other person.  Then we’ll continue reading and five minutes later it’ll be, “Oh my gosh, I’ve got to tell you this,” and he’ll tell me what he’s reading.  It’s a really special time that we have that I look forward to every night because we’re growing together and that’s a really special thing to go through with someone.  To grow together and be on the same path, and learn with each other — I can’t even explain or describe it — it really is a fabulous, fabulous feeling.

CTT:  It sounds lovely — really, really lovely.  Thank you for sharing that.

AT:  Thank you!  Of course!

CTT:  How would you suggest other people find their personal goals?

AT:  Like I mentioned before, we’re all different.  I really think the whole 90 Day Run is about challenging yourself and finding yourself what you think, personally, is making up your battle or what you want to work on.  Find what’s going to make you stronger, or what will help you through daily life, or inspire someone else.  I think people really have to dig deep and I think they have to think about the one thing in their life they want changed.

For me, personally, any time I’m feeling a certain way in life, maybe I’m not feeling great, or maybe sad or upset, whatever it may be, I look at it and I evaluate it.  And I [think] what is the one thing in my life that I need to change?  I really think about it; most people may have it come to them instantly — for some they have to dig deep.  For me, usually, I don’t feel good because of my weight or, oh, I don’t like this job, or whatever it is.  If that is what’s making someone upset then you have to fix it, eliminate it, and add something new that’s going to make them better for themselves and happier.  We only have one life and it’s short.  We might think it’s crazy-long, but it’s really quick and we’ve got to make every moment count and really just live happy, as corny as that sounds.  You’ve really got to live happy and we’ve got to do this together—we’re all in this together.  I would have people evaluate whatever it is that’s making them sad and unhappy and have them focus their energy on it because what we focus our energy on grows.  That’s something I would definitely recommend to anyone.  Do this for any aspect of their life; make a game plan, stick to it, and stay consistent and they’ll be so much happier.

CTT:  You include reading as a part of your 90 Day Run.  What type of books do you like to read?

AT:  Right now, I am reading The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell.  I was so lucky.  I got to meet him in March of this past year, March 2016, at an event called Multiply.  There were a lot of [thought provoking] leaders there speaking, and John C. Maxwell is someone I very much admire.  He is a wonderful, wonderful human being.  It really is all about growing.  It’s so funny, because throughout the day, we all have things that come up.  No day is perfect for anyone.  There’s always going to be things that happen.  I’m not kidding you, every night when I go to read, and I’m almost done with that book so I’m probably going to have to get something else soon, every night when I sit down to read that book, whatever I’m ready ends up applying to whatever the issue was that popped up in my day.  Maybe it was a fire I had to burn out or whatever it was, whether it’s business or personal, you name it, whatever may come up in life — it’s really crazy because every time I sit down at night it’s like, “Oh my gosh, this applies to everything I was talking about today”.  That, in and of itself, puts me in a happy mind set and I’m going to bed happy and I’m going to wake up happy with a smile on my face, which is going to allow me to go out there and kill it that day.  I love self-development books.  Anything that’s really going to help better myself.

My mom just sent me a book the other day by Dale Carnegie, who is an amazing author.  It’s all about public speaking and there’s a lot of public speaking involved in what I do for work and it’s just going to better it.  It’s about making you the best you can be and that’s the kind of reading I like to do.  Say you’re a painter, then go out and get books about painters or listen to audio books about painters.  Don’t watch the three hours of Netflix.  Maybe if you’re going to watch Netflix, find a documentary about painting.  Whatever it is that you’re trying to focus on, focus on those.  Just really focus on what you love.

CTT:  Now thinking about what you love & enjoy, you were talking about doing yoga earlier.  Are there any other exercises that you would consider go-to, that you enjoy or feel are important to incorporate?

AT:  Yes!  My entire life I’ve been a runner.  I love, love, love running!  I’m not sure how familiar you are with my story.  Almost two years ago, I was in this crazy car accident and I broke a lot of bones.  I’ve had 11 surgeries.  I had to re-learn to walk.  Finally, about a year ago, I was able to start running again.  That was something I worked so hard on because running is a huge part of my life; it really is cause I’ve done it for so long.  So a year ago I started doing that and now, here I am, going the same distance I used to, and that really blows my mind on it’s own.  But again, it was a little bit, every single day.

I was in a hospital bed for three months, unable to walk and I knew, in my heart, it was something I had to do — after a lot of hard work, a little bit at a time.  I love running.

I love dancing too, not that that’s something I get to do a lot; maybe take a dancing class is a lot of fun.  I’m trying to get better with weights but it’s not working out so well for me.  [laughs]  I’m trying to go slow and steady with that.  Freddie will take me to the gym, and he’ll show me, and I’ll try and remember.  If it comes to running or yoga, I can do it all day, every day.  Maybe now with the weights, it’s something I’ve got to work on a little bit every day and take my own advice.

CTT:  Congratulations on running again!  I did hear about the accident and I’m very inspired by all you’ve achieved. You have my complete admiration!

AT:  Thank you so much!  I truly appreciate that. [we both pause]

CTT:  We talked about eating at the beginning [of the interview].  What are some of the things that you enjoy eating, either at home or when you’re in a restaurant?

AT:  It’s funny you bring that up, because today is the first time we went to a restaurant since doing this whole thing.  It’s something that I sat down and thought, “Okay, as hungry as you are, be a good girl!”  We got the most delicious, amazing salmon.  I’m telling you, it was so good!  It came with steamed veggies.  We had to ask the waiter — it was an Asian Fusion restaurant — basically, we were looking at the menu and everything had a lot of spices and was high in sodium, which makes it taste delicious but we weren’t allowed to have that.  We asked if we could get regular salmon and steamed veggies and she [the waiter] said, “Of course, sure.”  She took one dish and turned it into this and it was perfect.

It’s really just going the extra mile and saying, “Hey, can we substitute?”  They’re always down; they’re always open to it.  I love salmon.  I love fish so much but Freddie usually makes a lot of meat — chicken, turkey.  That’s a little bit easier to make and you can’t really mess it up so it’s really a treat when we go out, because I get to get fish, which is amazing.  If you go to breakfast, it’s really just all about the eggs for me.  Maybe a very healthy egg white omelet with a lot of veggies in it.

Freddie loves this place called Sharky’s here in L.A.  You can get some pretty healthy stuff—some healthy salads or a little bit of steak and vegetables like broccoli.  It’s really cool how they serve it and you can take it to go.  It’s nice if we don’t feel like cooking we just run over there.  We probably go to Sharky’s a little bit too much for anyone, [laughs] but it’s a really great option.  We’re lucky that we have that.  It’s easy to eat out as long as you have the right mind set.  That’s why going into this crazy travel month, I said, “We’ve got to start this now.”  If we start it now, I’m not going to want to cheat.  When it’s two weeks in, it’ll be like — “Two weeks in, I’ve got this under my belt; this is cake.”   If we weren’t I’d be at Chili’s to go, getting Queso and just enjoying.  But now I’m eating the grilled chicken and the broccoli and I’m feeling better.  My energy’s incredible and if you look better, you feel better.  It really is true, you’ve got to work from the inside out.

This is what we’re kind of trying to do, taking it one step at a time.

CTT:  In this journey, have you, personally, connected with any physical fitness, health, or nutrition professionals or are you in place where you say to yourself, “I’ve got this; I know what I’m doing”?

AT:  It’s interesting you ask that because Freddie and I are not trying to be some crazy fitness gurus and say we know everything.  We’re just trying to change our mind sets and eat healthy, saying, “Let’s do this.”  Working out—we kind of have that figured out.  We’re both active people, but it’s not like I’m trying to do videos showing, “Hey, this is how you get a six pack!”  That’s too much! [laughs]  We’re just trying to be healthy.  If I was trying to do that or tell you how to gain all this muscle, I clearly would not be the girl to go to.  We’ve been active our whole lives.  As far as the exercise comes in, we have an idea what’s happening and it’s kind of crazy, because together with the social media world, where everything is going toward, I can take my laptop out and YouTube, “How do I make this egg white omelet?” or “We want to do yoga, how do we do this?”

That’s exactly what we’re doing with this.  Everything’s readily at our fingertips.  We’re just trying to learn through these videos.  It’s really awesome that we have that tool sitting right in front of us.

CTT:  You mentioned before that you’re going to Australia very soon.  How do you think this will impact your 90 Day Run, and what challenges do you expect?

AT:  Well, since I’m doing this on social media, I have to be good, right? [laughs]  I called myself out; I have to stay accountable.  I will tell you, that’s a big reason too, why I wanted to start this so early on.  If I’m traveling the next few weeks, I’m really going to have to make a conscious effort to being healthy, to reading my books, sticking to my new habits.

Having a schedule really is one of the most important parts of anyone’s day.  I truly believe that if you have a schedule, you’re going to get a lot more done and that will help you hit your goals.  For me, I’m going to have a schedule every single day.  If I decide, because of the time change, I’m up at a crazy hour and I need to read my 10 pages every day then I’ve got to make that happen.

This is a little different too — I have something I do in the morning.  I have a Brain Dumping Journal and I have something called a Gratitude Journal.  Before I turn on my phone, before I look at anything, I get up, and anything that’s on my mind I put in my Brain Dumping Journal.  Maybe it’s errands, whatever it may be, like household or personal stuff, I write everything down because it’s so easy for me to say, “Okay, I’ve got it all written down, now I can go on with my day and I’ll handle that as it comes.”

Then, right after that, I really love to do at least one page in my Gratitude Journal — everything I’m thankful for in my life.  It really allows me to tell the universe, ‘today I’m thankful for all this and today I’m making room for you to send new blessings my way.’  That is a non-negotiable part of my morning, no matter when I’m up.  I love to get up early so I have my morning to do a lot of stuff before my business starts and calls start coming in.  I really think having that schedule sets me up every single morning to be ready for my day, so when I’m in Australia, when I’m traveling, I have to have a schedule.  Like I said, it’s non-negotiable.

I’m working out; I’m eating healthy and just sticking to it.  I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but I’m going to make it happen.  I’m accountable on the internet so I’ve got to do it, right!

CTT:  I will certainly follow you — you are so inspiring!

AT:  Thank you so much!

*****

I have no doubt Alyssa Tabit will succeed at anything she puts her mind to!  Speaking with her was incredibly inspiring and uplifting.  It’s easy to understand how public speaking has become an integral part of her career.  However, unlike some, it is quite clear Alyssa believes in all she shares regarding both her personal and professional life!

Please join Alyssa’s 90 Day Run!  You can follow her on Twitter: @AlyssaTabit or on the YouTube channel she shares with Freddie Smith here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsbkaHXLQY179t-8db8pzw or on Official Freddie Smith Fans YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxMqb4nLoMx-27cgj1Vj6_Q

(Professional photo credits to Brad Everett Young; private photos shared by Alyssa Tabit)